Finding a Balance

This week has been a rough one, so rather than post lesson plans or product reviews, I'd like to take a moment and speak extemporaneously.  I have been feeling many things this week - anger, sadness, anxiety, malaise, and most of all questioning what I can do.  I am proud to have attended Bluffton University, where I learned many things, but most importantly I learned not to do something just because everyone else is doing it, but to do the things I think are right.  One of the first speakers my freshman class heard from talked about Mennonites and the Pledge of Allegiance.  Something so many people are familiar with yet no one really thinks about it.  Kids in classrooms across America say this every morning, yet how many kids actually think about what they are saying.  Do they really believe it and understand the promise they are making.  When I see the flag, I choose to show it respect because I believe in liberty and justice for all and for all those who have lost their lives that I may continue to live free.  I say the Pledge because we are not a perfect country, but we are trying to get better.  For me, the pledge is a promise from me to our ancestors, our community, and our children that I will try to keep moving forward to ensure these freedoms for everyone.  But the flag is more than that.  The flag is a symbol of the United States, its successes and it's failures.  No one should be forced to make a promise to a flag that to them is a reminder of hatred and fear.  

As a college student, I did something many college students do.  I attended protests.  I have marched with groups for women's rights, for peace, for tolerance, for climate change awareness, and for civil rights.  But these were all peaceful protests, where the most one had to fear was arrest if you crossed certain lines.  And I want my children to know that this is a right we have as Americans, but I am scared.  It is difficult to know where the balance is between keeping my family safe and standing up to say that things need to change.  I know a little of what it is to be afraid of police.  I have been pulled over late at night and worried about a cop taking advantage of a vulnerable female.  I have walked through the airport in Vietnam, where the security forces stood in full riot gear armed with massive guns.  I have been in cars at police checkpoints in Northern Ireland where I know the wrong words could lead to trouble.  But I have never had to fear for myself or my children walking or jogging through our neighborhood.  I have never had to worry about telling my children that the police are here to keep us safe without also teaching lessons about how to properly talk to police officers without fear of attack.  I have never worried that if I am bird watching or walking my dog, that someone might see me as a threat and call the police.  I have never worried that police will hold me down as I say I can't breathe because whether or not it was an accident, I paid with a counterfeit bill.

But what can I do?  What can we do as a people, and what can I do as a responsible parent?  I want to support the peaceful protesters, but I cannot do it in person.  Between social distancing from Covid-19 to the police presence, it doesn't feel like the responsible thing to do as a parent.  The police have shot rubber bullets, thrown tear gas, pushed elderly gentlemen, trapped protesters, destroyed supplies and made mass arrests all under the premise that they are simply trying to keep us safe.  And yes, not everyone has been peacefully protesting.  Some people are taking advantage of a situation while others have been so angry for so long, it has boiled over.   

Besides being out there, what is there?  First and foremost, use your politicians.  Contact them.  Let them know if you support the work they are doing or if you hope they should vote a certain way.  There are two pieces of legislation that are currently getting attention and we should be talking to our representatives about - anti-lynching bill and qualified immunity.  Qualified immunity deals with the challenge of bringing criminal or civil charges against police officers when they have committed crimes.  There are also discussions to create databases to help share when police officers are let go because of violent actions and changes to police training.  But the national level is not the only place to talk to your politicians.  Talk to your local politicians as well.  Encourage local government to require reporting of incidents, local policing so the police know the people of the neighborhood, and further training on how to deal with race issues as well as mental health issues.  Much like teachers have to continue their training after college, make sure police are continuing their training and not just in SWAT tactics.  Offer classes on race, drugs and overdose, and other issues relevant to your community.  Racism is not a police only problem.  Make sure your local politicians are active in encouraging and promoting a variety of business owners of all sizes and backgrounds.  And the most important way to reach your politicians when you feel like they don't hear you - vote.  Send them a message that you will not be silenced by big money.  You have a voice and they should be listening.  

If you have the funds or time in these crazy times, donate to a charity.  With coronavirus, it can make in person volunteer work more difficult, but there ask.  Maybe they need someone to do things over the computer.  And if volunteering doesn't work for you, donate money.  There are any number of organization from the overarching Black Lives Matter and ACLU to smaller, more local organizations.  Just do your research first so that you know your money and time are being given to an organization that shares your values and how they use the money they are given.

But most of all, what I have been doing is talking with my kids.  They are too young to really understand it.  They have trouble themselves with lizard brain and fight or flight.  But they feel the tension in the air and know that the world is a confusing place.  These people that they have been taught are here to keep people safe are also hurting people.  Some people are so angry they are doing things they know they shouldn't like stealing and lighting fires.  People are feeling hurt and scared and the quarantine isn't helping stop these feelings.  Minorities are suffering from coronavirus more than their white counterparts in part because they are more likely to have some of the essential jobs that keep them exposed.  Those suffering from poverty have a harder time eating healthy, exercising and escaping from stressors which make them more susceptible.  And there is so much history.  A few book suggestions from my kids - Finding Lincoln about a boy who wants to learn about Abraham Lincoln but isn't allowed in the library, We Rise, We Resist, We Raise our Voices a collection of poetry, art, and pieces for those who advocate for a just society, and a book I read as a child that deals with homelessness and discrimination - Maniac Magee.  Find your own artists who will speak to you and your children to help you find your footing in this time.

I don't know if this was helpful for anyone.  It may just have been a way for me to organize my thoughts, and I hope you don't take offense.  But we must make a change because we are the people, who in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice and ensure domestic tranquility have made it our mission to promote liberty and justice for all.